1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Me too!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
