we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
