She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
