Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
