She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
