He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
