been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
