I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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