So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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