worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
