I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just pee around me
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
