"it" just moved
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
