i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
one two three fourrrrnication!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
