i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize