I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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