I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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