We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
