ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
How external is "for external use only"?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
