did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
