Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
