my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
