iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
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