Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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