i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
