What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
