We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
