I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize