i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
