nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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