i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize