so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
