don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
