Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
