You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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