I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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