Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
