My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
