You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's not a walk of shame if you run
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
