Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
