Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My cat gives me a boner
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize