Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
im calling her cock vulture from now on
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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