i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize