i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize