We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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