It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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