You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
