he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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