I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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