He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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