Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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