And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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