return my video game
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i was born a porn star she said
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
