Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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