she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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