Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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