my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
