hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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