why didn't you poke me back
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
